The Power of Miracles

I was talking to my son-in-law the other day about miracles. It started me thinking about them. I think miracles give us hope and helps us to find a reason for joy in this world and a reason to be thankful for what we have received. I have had miracles all throughout my life. If I hadn't stopped to think about them and write them down...I might have forgotten about them. But let me share a few of them with you.

One day when I was younger with two young daughters, I had failed to put gas into the car. Before we left home, I looked at the gas gauge and decided we needed gas urgently and plotted my path to the nearest gas station. It was only 2 miles down the road...part of the road being a frontage road next to the freeway. I was anxious about it but confident that we would make it there okay. As we were nearing the gas station just up over the hill, my car began the "I'm out of gas dance". I reached the top of the hill and the car died. I could see the gas station at the bottom of the hill and off to the left. I put the car in neutral and rolled to the bottom of the hill and made the turn into the gas station....pulled up to the pump and put on my brakes in just the right spot. With two kids in the car, you better believe I was saying "thank you". The service station attendant filled the car with gas and I was on my way with a much better appreciation of miracles.

My husband and I were driving home from a trip, we blew a tire. I pulled over and we got out on the side of the freeway to look at it. I knew my husband couldn't change that tire but he got down on the ground to look for the spare tire anyway. As I was standing there wondering how in the world we could get this taken care of, a man pulled off the road and walked back to ask us if we needed help. I was so dumb-founded that I couldn't even answer him. Finally, I said "yes". He knew how to do everything and changed the tire in no time. We thanked him and he drove off. As in all miracles...we forgot to ask his name or where he was from. So, he remains the "knight in shining armor", who brought us a miracle. Have you ever thought of changing a tire as a miracle. I guess if you take two older adults that are somewhat restricted in movement and give them a flat tire, someone to help them is definitely a miracle.

In 1997, I was looking for a job. I had applied with Job Services and one day they called. They had a job for me to apply for....a job with our local gas company....a utility. So, I applied. I got the job and started working there. At first, I was sure I was going to hate this job but after a while, I loved the job and the people and it was all good. I worked there for 7 years and was so happy there. I learned a great deal about computers and programs and gave me the base I needed for working the rest of my life on computers. I have always been grateful for that job because of the many wonderful things that happened because of it.

While working at this same utility, I discovered that payday was a few days off and we had no money. No money for gas to get to work and no money for lunches while at work. So...remembering the story of Christ and the 5 loaves and the 3 fishes, I decided to ask the Lord to stretch my gas out and make things work. When I got to work that day...it was like playing monopoly....and I just pulled a chance card....it said, received $36.00 for stock dividends. I got enough money from stock dividends to fill my tank with gas and money left over for lunches until payday. It was a miracle and I was thrilled.

Around this same time, my son had gotten his license to drive and we bought him a car. He was driving on the freeway and a car in the left passing lane stopped to pull off on the median and turn and go the other way. My son couldn't see the car that had stopped because there were other cars ahead of him, when he finally saw the problem, he couldn't pull to the right because a car was beside him. So, he pushed on his brakes, lost control of the car, went into the median and rolled. The miracle here is that he walked away from this accident with no injury. While working for this utility company, they made us attend safety meetings. They always stressed wearing seat belts. They even gave monetary rewards for wearing seat belts all the time. I was in that program and I had some influence on my son as he was growing up and so he learned to wear his seat belt....which is what saved him in this accident. Huge miracle for us. The following week, a young lady in our church was riding in a vehicle that overturned and killed her. She was not wearing a seat belt.

Your assignment is to watch for your miracles and write them down and read them daily. We have miracles happen all the time...some little, some big...but miracles none-the-less. We need to take notice of all the wonderful things that happen in our lives. There are always going to be negative influences but don't be overwhelmed by all of it because "this too shall pass". If we key on the positive and pay less attention to the bad things, our lives will be happier. Our journey in life will be better and our influence will be good.

Keeping Balance in Your Life

I remember one day visiting with my step-mother and she was telling me she had been up on a ladder doing something and one of her kids or grandkids told her she was too old to be up on a ladder anymore. So, she didn't get up on the ladder anymore. I have thought about that a lot ever since. I always thought that if you can get on a ladder to do something, you should do that and stopping because someone said so was silly. I think differently about it now. Now that I am older, I can see that I have a lot more problems with balance than I did when I was younger. Now, sometimes just standing is a challenge. So, now I would say to her...."stay off the ladders".

I was sitting on the couch the other day and reached down and to the left to pick up a pill I had dropped and all of a sudden, I lost my balance. My sweet dog was standing near and as I was trying to catch myself, I smacked her right in the head and as I'm falling, I'm trying to apologize to the dog for hurting her. I finally fell on my knees and had to physically pick myself up and get into control again. As soon as I could, I picked up my puppy and held her and told her how sorry I was because my wrist that hit her was still hurting. This is a new thing for me...falling around and not always being in control of myself. We have steps behind our house and when I take the dog out, I have to climb back up the stairs and every time, it makes me nervous and I will admit that I have stumbled every once in a while.

Half the time, I wonder if all the pills I take cause some of these problems. Several of the pills I take have a little red tag that says "may cause dizziness". Well, I'm dizzy some of the time, but then again, not enough to make me go see a doctor.

Stairs are another one. I remember when we built this house and we put in a basement with stairs and an upstairs with.....you guessed it, stairs. But in the last few years, stairs are a big problem to both of us. On the positive side...it really is just about the only exercise we get. At this moment in time, we cannot get enough money out of our home to sell it and build another one....so, here we stay. I go up and down the stairs several times a day and a lot of the time, I'm carrying things that have to be taken up or down. Going up doesn't seem to be a problem but let me tell you....going down with things in your hands can be treacherous. My solution to this is to try to carry only a little bit at a time and if I can't hold onto the railing, I lean against the wall to add extra balance.

Sometimes, solutions to new problems aren't as apparent and you struggle for what to do. I think if you have any of these problems, here's a few suggestions:

A cane adds a little steadiness if you need that. If you have a bigger problem with steadiness, a walker is great to helping get around. I have used both from time to time.
Railings on all stairs whether in or out is a must, and then your job is to hang on to them.
Keep things picked up. Never leave things sitting on the stairs. I do sit things on the stairs waiting for my next trip up but when I go upstairs, I take them with me.
Keep things picked up off the floors. If you're unsteady anyway, you don't need to step on the dogs toys and trip.

Now, I know that keeping your mind busy doesn't have a whole lot to do with keeping yourself physically safe but in some ways it does. Keep thinking and seeing problems and fixing them before they become a problem. Thinking is important as we get older.
And one more thing, exercise is important. Even a little exercise is important. It may help with your co-ordination and helps your body to rebuild and fix some of the problems whether mental or physical. A good attitude and a good state of mind is always important whether you are 29 or 89 and it makes your life better. Keep smiling.

A New Love

My sister-in-law told me one day that you never get a dog when you're older because you just become really silly about it. She was right. When the children move out and they have their own lives, what are we doing as older citizens to fill our day. We wait and hope that children will come back regularly and visit so that we can continue to be a part of their lives, as we always have been. But, as grandchildren arrive, our children's lives become busy, especially if they have jobs and are fulfilling the needs of their family. So, we end up with a gaping hole in our lives and hearts with no apparent way to be filled.

I've mentioned in earlier writings that we need to volunteer or get a job or get a hobby that keeps us going. I don't think babysitting your grandchildren is the right answer for all. It takes that great love that you have for them and turns them into more like your children, than granchildren. We've already parented our children and took all that responsibility....why would we do that again, when grandparenting is so much better. I think that defeats the purpose of being a grandparent. Occassional babysitting is ok but not on a semi or permanent basis. You will really miss all the good that you can provide to that family, as a grandparent, if you become the "babysitter". But, if your children need you as a babysitter, of course, you cannot really do anything else, and it will fill your life with the satisfaction of being needed.

One of the things I have done in my family, is to get a dog. Now, this wasn't with my children's blessings but I did it anyway. When you actually fall in love with your puppy or dog, you will not know how you got along without them. I had an aunt, my mother's sister, that never had a dog her whole life. When her son was thinking of divorce, he moved back in with his mother until he could make other arrangements and he brought a puppy with him. My aunt was so happy to have her son back home that she gladly let the dog in her life. When her son went to work, the dog stayed home and she got to interact with the dog. When her son and his wife got back together, he left the dog with her and she totally fell in love with this dog. I talked to her many times and she would be sad about this and that but if I asked her about the dog, her voice raised and her animation came back....she was totally in love with this dog. He was her companion.

I have owned many dogs and cats. I never fell in love with a dog or animals until later in life, when my children were all gone. Then, I discovered what a center of our lives they are. We have to leave the dog at home from time to time and when we are on the way home we talk about how happy she will be when we get home. But I think we are just as happy to see her because we talk silly to her and we hold her and love her. She greets us with wiggles and is so happy we are there with her. Now, if we are leaving and we are not going into any building or if one of us is staying in the car, we take her with us. We never leave her alone in the car. First, it's hot were we live and also, our dog is so small that I'm afraid she will get hurt if left to her own devices. She is still a puppy and she gets into everything. I hope she will be better as she mellows out and gets older, but whether she does or not.....it doesn't really matter, we love her.

Just think...when your children were home, did they wiggle and wag when you came home after being gone? Did they ever back talk? Did they ever jump on your lap and snuggle with you and give you kisses on the nose? Did they follow you around to every room and lay down, not speak , and wait for you to get done with whatever you are doing? Were you ever able to leave them alone a few days after bringing them home? Did your children ever complain about anything? Well, dogs don't complain and they love uncondtionally...I've learned a lot about love from my sweet animals. So, dear sister-in-law, you were right....people get silly about their dogs because they become the center of our love and they fill a need in our lives....and I wouldn't change it for anything.

Love is the Answer!

I'm sure that all grandparents have discovered the wonderful world of grandchildren. If not, let me tell you about it...Grandchildren are God's reward to us for our efforts in parenting our own children. Let me tell you, I had no clue as to what I needed to do to be a mother to my children....oh, I thought I did, but standing at old age now, I realize I really didn't have a clue. I would love taking the knowledge that I have now and go back and re-parent my children. There would be a lot more love and a lot less drama, less rules but the rules we did have, I'd stick to. But....since we can't go back, I'll have to be content to love and adore my grandchildren. I look at my grandchildren now and see the sweet souls that God sent for us to cherish and, yes, they have faults but so do I.

My husband and I have 15 grandchildren. Four of those, live near us and the other eleven live at least 8 to 22 hours away from us. If not for the four that live near us, I'd really never know what it was like to be a grandmother. I see how they are growing and what they think sometimes and we are able to be at the soccer and sporting events in which they choose to participate. What this has done has given me insight into their sweet hearts and souls. We have sleepovers and they come to help with gardening and cleaning and we pay them some little something that makes them happy. As a parent, we had to ask, plead, threaten and intimidate to get our children to help with chores around the house. They needed to learn this and I needed the help. But grandparenting is different. When they come to help, I'm thrilled with whatever they do and it doesn't have to be good and sometimes, we just visit. So there is no stress related problems. Whatever they do to help me is great and if they don't help, it's also great because we are establishing a rapport and that is priceless. So, when they come to Grammy's house, whatever they do I'm grateful for and I always tell them that and what a great job they did and they are happy to help because of no pressure.

I love to color with them or watch a movie (they pick two or three movies and I decide which one to watch), read to them, do a puzzle or sometimes we play beauty shop and I get a new hairdo from these little ones.

There are so many things that could be done with grandchildren that don't live near. You can send letters, you can send cards, you can facebook with them and sending them little remembrances is good too.

Everything that a grandparent could do to establish a relationship with the grandchildren is important. They may listen to you at some point in life, where they may not listen to their parents. Your direction may be the steering post they need in a troubled time.

I have an Lowry Organ in my home and most of my grandchildren love to play on it. My "easy play Lowry organ" sounds like music the minute you play...even if you don't really play the piano. One grandson, played it one time and I could recognize the song. I encouraged him by telling him how well he played and he has developed some interest in playing music....now I'm not saying I inspired him but it may have helped. I had one granddaughter come to help me one day. I was preparing for a dinner and needed some help. I got really busy and I had to give the directions to her and let her do the job and she did. It involved reading and understanding what to do and I did supervise her and the cake she made turned out great. Now when she wants to come to my house, she wants to cook something.

It doesn't take much to inspire an interest in something. We have the cooking and the music but there's reading and movies and church and so many things we can share with our grandchildren. I do a lot of hobbies with my grandchildren, especially if I'm having them sleepover for a while. I go to Michaels or Roberts and get some little craft thing and we do that....it keeps them busy and happy and building memories with their grandparents. My husband is in a wheelchair and he goes out with our grandson and the grandson mows the lawn and my husband keeps the electric cord out of his way. They take breaks and talk and share treats and stories and moments that build a relationship for eternity.

Grandparents add so much to grandchildren's lives in many small but important ways. Just telling stories to them about your yesterday's will give them a sense of family. If you don't tell them about ancestors, they may never know of or about them. The little things you say may be remembered a lifetime and may be passed on to their children.

Here is my last thought on the subject. As always, the essence of whatever you do with them or anyone should be love and caring...who cares how a job is done, it's the interaction with each other that is important. Loving family and setting a good example, encouraging others with positive re-enforcement and holding good principles is all that needs to be done. Build your relationships as if they will last forever....because they will.

"What do you mean, I forgot?"

Ok, so as we get older, we start to forget things. We also forgot things when we were young but it's more pronounced when we are really starting to age. All I can speak to is my experience. My husband and I have so many arguments about who told who what and when....it gets silly. So, in some ways, we are learning patience. That's good....right? We continue in this realization that we do forget more now......and after some thought, we decided that we should just laugh about it. Now we have to write most things down.....appointments, meetings, grandchildren's soccer games, etc. I've still got the birthdays ok, so far. Another good way to remember is that if you both go to doctor appointments and things like that, you and your spouse will be able to help each other remember....you remember one part and your spouse remembers the other part...etc. So start doing things together when you can and that will also bring you closer together as partners.

Writing can be a really good thing. If you write down appointments and soccer games, etc., you get to where you need to be but......what if you write in a journal. Write down things about your day, your thoughts about things that are going on.......that might do a couple of things. It will help you remember what you did in your yesterdays and what a good time you had....but, it will also exercise your brain in doing the writing and keep it in your memory longer. Now, you can write long-hand or you can type or use the computer. Whatever way you choose to write.....getter' done.

Also, playing games help exercise your brain. We play Rummikub....it's a numbers game and you have to think about how and where to move tiles. Solitare also makes you think a little. SkipBo is a good card game that you have to use some thinking. I'm sure there's many more great games to keep your mind active.

I think continuing education is a good way to keep your mind working well. If you've ever wanted to study something or get a degree in something, now's the time and it may help keep your mind working better.

There's one more thing I want to tell you. My husband talked with his doctor about his memory loss and his doctor said that there's really no way to tell if a person might have alzheimers or dementia. He suggested that he try "aricept". You've probably heard about it on television. Apparently, even college students are trying to get hold of aricept because it helps you think clearer and remember better. It is one of the most misused drugs on campus. So, my husband tried it and he thinks that everyone should take it. He says his thinking is much clearer and his plan is to never be without it again. The doctor in a later visit suggested another pill that goes along with aricept and helps with the aricept. This medicine is called "namenda". My husband has not been diagnosed with alzheimer's or any kind of dementia but his doctor thought it would help and it has. Be sure and talk to your doctor about these medicines. It is important to note that these medicines don't help the day or the day after you take them....they have to be taken for two or three weeks before you can be sure how they are working. You may go on to a couple of websites that may be of help....one is "namenda.com" and the other is "aricept.com".

Now, one more thing, there aren't too many advantages to having memory loss but my husband and I discovered one. We do a lot of tv watching and during the "off" season, the networks put on re-runs. We have never been too happy with this but what choice do we have. Now that our memories are not as good, we remember that we have seen a program but we don't remember what is going to happen next, so, we get to watch re-runs over again and it's almost like seeing them for the first time...Well, you have to laugh at it but it's better than crying....

Take Time to Smell the Roses!

Boy, if I could go back to yesterday and re-live some of my parenting of my children, I would love to do that. As we get older, we seem to be a little wiser and I would love to have the opportunity to raise my children with the wisdom that I now possess, realizing that loving them and with a small amount of discipline (tailored to each child) would be the most important thing I could do for them. That yelling and anger have no place in raising children. Oh, how I wish......but, once we have completed our tasks in life, we cannot re-do them. I did do the very best I could raising my children and that's all I can do. If my inadequacy has left them with problems in their adult life, they will have to work their way through it and I wish them the very best. Fortunately, I am on speaking terms with all my children and am grateful for that.

I have spent a lot of time regretting, and I can't seem to get past that but it certainly is a waste of energy. You know, out of everything we go through in life...good or bad...we can learn something from it. Sometimes, it takes a while to get a clear view of what was positive out of an awful situation. But, it's there for your learning.

I used to spend a lot of time trying to find the answer to being happy and here's what I discovered. If you are grateful for the smallest things and chose to think about those good things and repeat those good things that happen to you, you will find happiness. If you serve others and forget about yourself, you will find happiness. If, on the other hand, you chose to talk about the negative things that happen to you and look for justice (that never comes) you will be unhappy. You must forgive and you must be positive and you must serve others to truly be happy. Forgiving others is so important. Being angry and hateful is a physical thing that hurts you, so you forgive those that have crossed your way because it is good for you, not them, YOU. It's good for you to forgive others. Happiness is a something you do....it's not something that comes to you automatically. You make your own happiness...it's a mechanical thing. Smile and you're happy, frown and you're sad. No brainer.....smile.

I was driving along one day and another driver cut me off. I was angry about that and was sitting in my car sputtering about it when all of a sudden I realized that I was letting this person ruin my day and it just sort of seemed silly after I thought about it....why should I give them that much power over me. So I put a mechanical smile on my face and within seconds, that mechanical smile was a real smile and all the anger was gone and I was so happy realizing that little decision to mechanically change an outward appearance, changed my inward feeling. How wonderful.

We used to live in the northwest and the surrounding landscapes were beautiful. It was green and lush and without reservation, beautiful. We moved to the desert and I had to look for the beauty that lives here. Even though the beauty isn't as apparent in the desert, it's there....you just have to look for it. The skies are blue and dotted with white clouds, the mountains are red. There's no green lush beauty here but there is beauty here none-the-less. In all of life, if we look for the good and the positive and the not-so-apparent beauty, we will find it and we will be much happier having found it.

Now, we that are older have a few more problems than we did when we were younger....but the answers are the same. If we dwell on our aches and pains, we will just have to live through it but if we dwell on helping our neighbor or writing positive letters to our grandchildren to tell them how much we love them, or if we volunteer in the community, we will forget about ourselves a little and we really will be happier. If you can't think of anything you can do, ask someone to help you come up with ideas to keep you involved with the community and your family. It can be done and you will be happier for making the effort.

So, I guess what I am saying is that enjoying life and things that surround us don't just happen....we may have to look for it...but, it's there, or in other words....take time to smell the roses. It will be worth it.

Let There Be No Doubt....As For Me and My House...

I remember going to parades and placing my hand over my heart as the flag passed . I remember saying the pledge of allegiance and feeling pride that I lived in the greatest land on earth. We said the pledge of allegiance every morning in school. Every sporting event we played the Star Spangled Banner, we still do that in some sporting events.

I think every American felt patriotism during 9/11, but it was so fleeting. How come that same sense of unity doesn't last? There has always been two ways to look at the same situation, question or problem....the positive way and the negative way. The press is responsible for leading and misleading the public. How ever they decide a story should go, is how it is slanted (positive or negative). So, when we read a paper or listen to the tv news, we are listening to someone's opinion....and reading it as fact. It's important to understand that because I believe that the media is mostly responsible for changing our patriotism....one story after the other. It used to be fashionable to promote patriotism, now, not so much. Although, we do have the occassional story that lifts our hearts and swells us with pride and when we have those, we are all the better for having heard it. Who didn't love the patriotism of the men and women that tried to take over the plane (flight 93) that was destined to be crashed into a prominent building and thus saved the lives of those that would have been killed. That's true patriotism....giving your life to save others. That is every soldier killed in the protection of our country. When our fathers, husbands, brothers and sons fought in our countries wars....I don't think they were hiding in fox holes and thinking about dying for a country that accepts lies, half truths, illegal operations and throwing God out of our country. I think they were relying on God to bring them through their ordeals and praying for such. Now, we let fellow citizens tell us that it violates their rights that we pray to God and we include God on our money and in our lives. When do we stand for right? What did our forefathers base this country on? Religious freedom that we could worship God by the dictates of our own hearts and minds. I've added an address for youtube that will help remind us of long ago when patriotism and honor lived in this country. It is a talk by President Ronald Reagan....a man with a lot of charisma....and good sense. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BnLa1BvtaxM ....I hope you enjoy this video. It reminded me of days long gone when we were proud of our country. Sometimes, opportunities will present themselves and we can drop small but loving messages to our grandchildren to encourage love of country. Most of us can't leave much to our families but if we leave nothing but patriotism and love of God and country, at least, we will have done that, and that may just be the help our country needs.

Are you ready for CHANGE...well, here it comes

Who knew that when you were young and having children and caring for their every need that at some point in life, those same children demanding your time and energy and "drop everything to help me", would be the same people, as adults, that not only don't need your help, they don't want your help and don't have the time to include you in their everyday lives. So....you did your job and they are independent. I remember being busy as a young adult with children and not having a lot of time but every time I went to town, I swung by my husband's parent's home and visited for a few minutes. My children were able to see their grandparents and get to know them more each time. The times that my children slept over at gramma's house , they learned about grandma and grandpa and vice versa. My daughter chose to speak at her grandmother's funeral because she had grown to know and love her grandmother. In this day and age, families don't always live close and thus, families cannot have the support of senior members because of location. I firmly believe that grandparents are needed to re-affirm love and standards, if not to their children, at least to the grandchildren. It is my opinion that once the children have married and have children of their own, it's time to find something that you love to fill your time. If possible, fill time with loving your children and grandchildren but if not, it's time to think of something to fill up your days. I have spent many days feeling like an old shoe, of no value to anyone anymore. But it certainly isn't true....only if you let it be true. As older citizens, we have so much of life lessons that we could pass along to those coming after us, and even though it seems like things are different with the new generations, the only thing that really changes is morals and fashion....and sometimes, not even that. Through the coming days, I would like to write about several topics but all pertaining to us as seniors. I will be writing about being an "empty nester", about grandchildren and what we can do to be better grandparents, and continuing education, dealing with health issues and volunteering and patriotism and getting our lives in order and more. Seniors, arise and be heard. Be heard in love and in example and in doing what's right. The younger generation, even if they don't know it, need us. Isn't that why we write history, so that those that come after us, don't make the same mistakes and mankind can progress.