My sister-in-law told me one day that you never get a dog when you're older because you just become really silly about it. She was right. When the children move out and they have their own lives, what are we doing as older citizens to fill our day. We wait and hope that children will come back regularly and visit so that we can continue to be a part of their lives, as we always have been. But, as grandchildren arrive, our children's lives become busy, especially if they have jobs and are fulfilling the needs of their family. So, we end up with a gaping hole in our lives and hearts with no apparent way to be filled.
I've mentioned in earlier writings that we need to volunteer or get a job or get a hobby that keeps us going. I don't think babysitting your grandchildren is the right answer for all. It takes that great love that you have for them and turns them into more like your children, than granchildren. We've already parented our children and took all that responsibility....why would we do that again, when grandparenting is so much better. I think that defeats the purpose of being a grandparent. Occassional babysitting is ok but not on a semi or permanent basis. You will really miss all the good that you can provide to that family, as a grandparent, if you become the "babysitter". But, if your children need you as a babysitter, of course, you cannot really do anything else, and it will fill your life with the satisfaction of being needed.
One of the things I have done in my family, is to get a dog. Now, this wasn't with my children's blessings but I did it anyway. When you actually fall in love with your puppy or dog, you will not know how you got along without them. I had an aunt, my mother's sister, that never had a dog her whole life. When her son was thinking of divorce, he moved back in with his mother until he could make other arrangements and he brought a puppy with him. My aunt was so happy to have her son back home that she gladly let the dog in her life. When her son went to work, the dog stayed home and she got to interact with the dog. When her son and his wife got back together, he left the dog with her and she totally fell in love with this dog. I talked to her many times and she would be sad about this and that but if I asked her about the dog, her voice raised and her animation came back....she was totally in love with this dog. He was her companion.
I have owned many dogs and cats. I never fell in love with a dog or animals until later in life, when my children were all gone. Then, I discovered what a center of our lives they are. We have to leave the dog at home from time to time and when we are on the way home we talk about how happy she will be when we get home. But I think we are just as happy to see her because we talk silly to her and we hold her and love her. She greets us with wiggles and is so happy we are there with her. Now, if we are leaving and we are not going into any building or if one of us is staying in the car, we take her with us. We never leave her alone in the car. First, it's hot were we live and also, our dog is so small that I'm afraid she will get hurt if left to her own devices. She is still a puppy and she gets into everything. I hope she will be better as she mellows out and gets older, but whether she does or not.....it doesn't really matter, we love her.
Just think...when your children were home, did they wiggle and wag when you came home after being gone? Did they ever back talk? Did they ever jump on your lap and snuggle with you and give you kisses on the nose? Did they follow you around to every room and lay down, not speak , and wait for you to get done with whatever you are doing? Were you ever able to leave them alone a few days after bringing them home? Did your children ever complain about anything? Well, dogs don't complain and they love uncondtionally...I've learned a lot about love from my sweet animals. So, dear sister-in-law, you were right....people get silly about their dogs because they become the center of our love and they fill a need in our lives....and I wouldn't change it for anything.
I've mentioned in earlier writings that we need to volunteer or get a job or get a hobby that keeps us going. I don't think babysitting your grandchildren is the right answer for all. It takes that great love that you have for them and turns them into more like your children, than granchildren. We've already parented our children and took all that responsibility....why would we do that again, when grandparenting is so much better. I think that defeats the purpose of being a grandparent. Occassional babysitting is ok but not on a semi or permanent basis. You will really miss all the good that you can provide to that family, as a grandparent, if you become the "babysitter". But, if your children need you as a babysitter, of course, you cannot really do anything else, and it will fill your life with the satisfaction of being needed.
One of the things I have done in my family, is to get a dog. Now, this wasn't with my children's blessings but I did it anyway. When you actually fall in love with your puppy or dog, you will not know how you got along without them. I had an aunt, my mother's sister, that never had a dog her whole life. When her son was thinking of divorce, he moved back in with his mother until he could make other arrangements and he brought a puppy with him. My aunt was so happy to have her son back home that she gladly let the dog in her life. When her son went to work, the dog stayed home and she got to interact with the dog. When her son and his wife got back together, he left the dog with her and she totally fell in love with this dog. I talked to her many times and she would be sad about this and that but if I asked her about the dog, her voice raised and her animation came back....she was totally in love with this dog. He was her companion.
I have owned many dogs and cats. I never fell in love with a dog or animals until later in life, when my children were all gone. Then, I discovered what a center of our lives they are. We have to leave the dog at home from time to time and when we are on the way home we talk about how happy she will be when we get home. But I think we are just as happy to see her because we talk silly to her and we hold her and love her. She greets us with wiggles and is so happy we are there with her. Now, if we are leaving and we are not going into any building or if one of us is staying in the car, we take her with us. We never leave her alone in the car. First, it's hot were we live and also, our dog is so small that I'm afraid she will get hurt if left to her own devices. She is still a puppy and she gets into everything. I hope she will be better as she mellows out and gets older, but whether she does or not.....it doesn't really matter, we love her.
Just think...when your children were home, did they wiggle and wag when you came home after being gone? Did they ever back talk? Did they ever jump on your lap and snuggle with you and give you kisses on the nose? Did they follow you around to every room and lay down, not speak , and wait for you to get done with whatever you are doing? Were you ever able to leave them alone a few days after bringing them home? Did your children ever complain about anything? Well, dogs don't complain and they love uncondtionally...I've learned a lot about love from my sweet animals. So, dear sister-in-law, you were right....people get silly about their dogs because they become the center of our love and they fill a need in our lives....and I wouldn't change it for anything.
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